APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER


Notice: this application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement, job history, lineage, criminal history, driving history
and psychological evaluation.

1. Name____________________________Date of Birth________________
2. Height________Weight___________I.Q._________GPA_____________
3. Social Security #_________________Driver's License #______________
4. Home Address_______________________________________________
5. Telephone #_____________________Pager #______________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent?____If NO, explain_______
7. How fast can you run 40 yards?_______________2 miles?__________
8. Do you own? A) A van______B) A motorcycle_______C) A waterbed_____
9. Is any part of your body pierced? (Includes earrings)________Tattooed?______

[NOTE: IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY PART OF QUESTION 8 OR 9
DISCONTINUE THE APPLICATION PROCESS AND LEAVE THE PREMISES!]

10. What does LATE mean to you?_______________________________________
11. What does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?_______________
12. What does ABSTINENCE mean?_____________________________________
13. Church you attend___________________How often attended_______________
14. Best time to interview your Minister_________Mother_______Father_________
15. Answer by filling the blanks. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential.
a. The last place on my body I would like to be shot is_____________________.
b. If beaten, the last bone I would like broken is__________________________.
c. A women's place is in the__________________________________________.
d. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_____________.
e. In the event of my untimely death notify_______________________________.
f. My greatest fear is________________________________________________.
g. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her_________________.

IF THE ANSWER TO "g." BEGINS WITH THE LETTER "B" DISCONTINUE THE
APPLICATION PROCESS AND LEAVE THE PREMISES. IT IS ADVISED TO
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND RUN IN A SERPENTINE FASHION!

16. What do you want to be IF you grow up?________________________________
17. Have you ever been fingerprinted?______Had a DNA sample recorded?________
18. Your dentist is____________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS CORRECT TO THE BEST
OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.

________________________________________
Signature
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. (It could cause disqualification and injury to your body.)

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